Hello Everyone, I’m writing to you after a nudge from a friend to include more of my loved ones in the journey I’ve begun to become a mom. Below you can read some of the story in the essay I wrote applying for a grant. If I get the grant funding, it will still only cover a portion of the upcoming IVF process. I am going to contribute another $8-10K to the $30K total, but I’m looking for support in the $20K for my egg retrieval, embryo testing and storage, along with the embryo transfer. You all are a huge part of why I have the courage to continue this journey, so I’d like to invite you to contribute toward my process. Anything helps! I’m hoping to raise as much as possible in June before I start in July.
(NOTE: Please kindly do not share on social media as I would like the vulnerability of this process to be within the community I’ve chosen. Thank you!)
My Story:
Family has always been a complicated word for me. I remember as a teenager seeing images of families around the dinner table portraying a sense of support and togetherness. Yet this didn’t resonate with me and my story. As young as 8-years-old I experienced the uncertainty and confusion of addiction and emotional chaos from my parents. This continued and led to their divorce when I was a teenager. But along the way, I discovered a powerful concept: choice. I began gathering my chosen family when I met my best friend in 5th grade; then adding neighbors, coaches, teachers, colleagues and more friends over time. Through redefining family with the power of choice, I have discovered the vision of myself as a mother can heal and redeem the generational trauma that began long before me.
I have desperately wanted to be a mom my entire life. I think even as a child I was corralling the neighborhood kids and babysitting as early as 11-years-old. I studied child development in college; then I worked in birth to three services, and I now have a private practice supporting pregnant women, first-time parents and parent-child relationships. In essence, I already see myself as a mother. It is a core part of who I am.
However, the last 18 years has been spent exploring the deep well of intergenerational trauma in my family system. Although this work has been monumental in the strength and development of myself, I now find myself 42-years-old and single. I feel proud of what I’ve learned and accomplished but ache for the experience of mothering my own baby. I have untangled having a child from finding a partner which has given me much freedom. This is what led me to PNWF to become a single-mom-by-choice.
I began my process with PNWF May 2024 starting with IUI. With a positive test my second attempt in September, growth stopped after six weeks, and I had a D & C in October. January, February, March and April were more attempts with negative results. At a total of six attempts, I now find myself ready to shift to IVF. I spent the $15,000 down payment I’d been saving for a home on sperm and IUI procedures. Thus I must find new funding sources. I am currently updating bloodwork, signing consent paperwork, and ordering sperm to prepare to start the process in July or August 2025 with the hope of an embryo transfer in September or October.
After nearly two decades of healing work on my mind, body, and spirit, I want to be able to experience motherhood as a celebration of that hard work. I am a self-employed, single woman; thus I do not have the capital nor employer insurance to afford the IVF journey on my own. This funding will be essential in my ability to move forward with the process. Please join me in making my vision become a reality with the power of your choice. Thank you for your time and consideration.
