In 2016, Christian began to develop some pain in his hips. We attributed this to a recent job he had that involved hours of standing and juicing at an ergonomically unfriendly juicer. In the ensuing nine years, the connective tissue in the joints in his torso, shoulders, and neck has continued to break down, to such an extent that he is unable to work, or even get out of bed some days. He suffers from debilitating severe physical panic attacks, from absence seizures, and from continuous pain and discomfort as the result his joints constantly popping out of place. He frequently can’t sleep because he can’t be comfortable. The only way he gets any rest at all is by sleeping in a hammock I set up in my Dad’s former bedroom.
We don’t know what he is suffering from, or if it is treatable. The testing is all going to be very expensive, even with a very expensive insurance policy. All of this is made harder by the fact that I have to travel to be able to work, and that I can’t leave him alone for protracted periods of time. We’ve been to the ER three times this year. I can’t pay the bills. We finally have a couple specialist appointments, but they will also involve travel, and I do not know how we will cover the costs.
Some backstory: After losing my Mom in 2020, my Dad tried to stay here, but he couldn’t handle it without her, and has moved away. I had promised that I would handle the house, so Christian and I came down in 2022 to clear their which contains the detritus of 35 years of antiques business. There is little medical infrastructure in this very small, rural mountain town, and we have depleted all of our savings trying to finish this job. We are three years in, and Christian can no longer help me. But in order to move to a community where there are the medical services we need, and the kind of F&B community that allows me to practice my trade, we have to raise enough money to move. In the meantime, in the space of a month last November I lost one remote-work job with no notice, and had a job offer that promised to provide what we needed to get out of here taken away by a chef who hired someone into my job without speaking to the owners, who were hiring me. I am currently looking for work, but moving is expensive.
When you are a team of two, and fifty percent of your team can no longer function, all of everything lands on the one still standing. We are stuck, and I am dancing as hard as I can to keep up the payments on our insurance, and keep us fed and watered, in addition to the copays for specialists and diagnostic genetic testing, but it has become clear I can’t do it on my own. We need help, and we haven’t anywhere else to turn that won’t just yield more debt and longterm financial ruin.
I realize that this is a terrible time to be asking for help. I don’t know anyone having an easy time, but this is where we are, and we need to find our way out. The most important part of this is getting Christian diagnosed and treated, or at least diagnosed so that we can understand what we’re dealing with and I can learn to adapt and to cope.
